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So many times I would kneel at his feet, open up his zipper and start sucking his penis, only to have nothing happen. Or worse, to have him brush me away. "Not now," he would say."When?" I would ask."I don't know, just not now."It was frustrating, and the first thing I had to learn was how not to sulk. I was his, after all, and I was learning how to understand his moods and needs, not the other way around. So if it wasn't right for him, then that had to be okay with me, no matter what.So fine. I learned to be calm and accepting of anything he wanted or didn't want. It took a while, but gradually Michael learned he could be honest with me without fear of some feminine backlash, and that I wouldn't be hurt if he was just 'not interested'.I was quite tentative at first. I would cautiously approach Michael, give him a kiss or massage his neck, or something non-committal, and then would see if there was anything else I could do for him.After a while, I began to understand him better, to. On the other hand, there were always two sides to the story.If he did fall in love with Deborah what about Sharon? He could not just brush her aside. He could not repay her loyalty to Rachel and him like that. Nor could he rebuff her love without hurting her deeply and possibly wounding her forever. Neither had foreseen this eventuality when Sharon made her offer. Even when she had fallen for him she had promised never to stand in his way. Easier said than done. Perhaps both of them secretly believed that he never would fall in love again. And he hadn't yet — quite.He would have to come clean with Deborah too. That could really put the cat among the pigeons. He wondered whether she had remained chaste since her divorce. Almost certainly. However there was no need to get wound up about that at this stage as it might never be necessary although he found himself hoping that it would.He went off to the kitchen to fix himself some lunch. He had a client coming down this afternoon. He.
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